It’s the gift that keeps giving, Christmas shoppers — the 2011 What Pie “Pies of the Year” Calendar is now on sale, and its packed with mouthwatering and informative pie-based loveliness.  Have trouble telling if it’s Tuesday?  Or remembering what a pasty looks like?  Now you can do both, in the comfort of your own home.  Drool.

Find out more and order yours here.

It’s at www.cafepress.com/thewhatpieshop.

(* The 2010 International Year of the Pie calendar has not actually won any awards.  Not even made up ones.)

(** The limited period in question is the year 2010.  Ish.)

I’ve just eaten a Quorn Mini Sausage Roll, a vegetarian micro-protein take on the classic baker’s see-no-evil, taste-no-evil extravaganza that proved so convincing I kept bracing myself for a mouthful of inedible gristlyness.  I guess that’s a good thing.

We can only apologise if you have just the right occasion for a t-shirt with a beef pie on it in the meantime.

The Jus-Rol pastry British Pie Week site is at www.britishpieweek.co.uk.

My hints didn’t get me anywhere.

When Jon from Pieminister commented on a pie portrait and suggested I should assess their wares, I mentioned that I could, y’know, do with eating a few more of them.  So, having exchanged pleasantries, I thought maybe we’d move on to exchanging pies.  And then I’d work out what to do later if, contrary to all the recommendations, they turned out to be horrible.

I needn’t have worried.  Firstly, Jon creditably ignored my pathetic attempt at weaselling up a couple of free pies, and secondly I spotted Pieminister’s offerings in Sainsbury’s about a week later, and they proved to be completely lovely.

Or at least one did.  The Hen pie (a kind of lemony chicken affair) didn’t go down so well with my co-reviewer.  Nothing wrong with it, just a personal taste thing.  But the Shamrock pie (pictured) really didn’t disappoint, and is, I can now declare, the winner of the prestigious WhatPie Loveliest Pie of the Year award 2009!

It’s a classic steak pie, comprising a rich and tasty gravy with none of the horrible chewy bits that put me right off (and I’ve subsequently re-checked by eating about 4 more, so I’m pretty confident that’s no fluke).  The pastry is firm but not hard, and the whole thing forms a most satisfying ensemble.  Get one down your Gregory forthwith.

I’ve since had another similar Pieminister variety featuring more of a stilton kick, which I’d also recommend.  Nice work pie people.

And happy Crustmas, everyone.

I learned a valuable lesson from this pie my friends.

I learned that you shouldn’t pour gravy over a curry pie.

Actually the curry / gravy taste clash wasn’t as bad as you might imagine.  But it did stop me enjoying my square pie in all it’s glory.

And for a while there glory was very much the word for the Square Pie mob, as they ushered in the current wave of upmarket, kinda cool, desirable pies. 

Nowadays everyone’s at it, and the nation’s bakeries and supermarkets heave under the weight of lovingly constructed, uber tasty monuments to the possibilities of pie.  So is there still room for the self-styled “squarest pies in the land”?

Yes.  There is.  For their pies are square, and come in posh little boxes, as shown.

Just, like I say, maybe try and show a little restraint with the gravy jug if you’re getting the chicken curry variety.

It looks like this:

Each month is illustrated by a thematicallly appropriate mouthwatering pie, and a suitably inspiring message: click here to see a preview of what each month has in store.  (You can actually select each month in turn at the bottom there….)

Or click here to order yours now.   It’s a snip at $17.99 (US) (which is £14.50 in UK money at the time of writing).

Like the notorious and controversial Stilton, Feta and Pine Nut model discussed earlier, this offering from Higgidy is a lovingly rendered take home and bake number available from supermarkets and the like.  (I almost said from ‘the Higgidy stable’, but I didn’t like the way this phrase seemed to suggest their pies may contain horse.  Do you get horse pie in France, I wonder?  Do let me know, if you do.)

So anyway, yes.  Beef pie.  That’s what this is, essentially.  You could compare it to the West Cornwall Pasty Company’s Steak and Stilton Pasty, which has similar aspirations of gastro-pub.  And I’d have to say I prefer the Higgidy variety: it wins on both chewyness and cheese attack, less being, in both cases, very much more, if you see what I mean, and if you can follow me through these many, many commas.

So, yes, a very nice pie, even though it looks like I burned the topping a bit there.